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2020 Somewhere In England

by Horne's Demo Shop

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1.
Sixties Stereo 02:48
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Generations! generations? There’s only one that counts When they talk about generations You know that means ours And everyone agrees that everyone agrees That no one disagrees that no one disagrees That there’s no doubt And it’s all in sixties stereo (That’s how we like it) Sixties stereo (Close mike it) Sixties stereo (Double track it) Now! Making sense of experience I think we’ve found a vein Don’t take chances, build a fence We won’t get fooled again And everyone agrees that everyone agrees That no one disagrees That no one disagrees That there’s no doubt And it’s all in sixties stereo (New religions) Sixties stereo (New positions) Sixties stereo (Unconditional love) Now we’ve climbed the ladders All except the ones who haven’t And we’re burning them behind us And they’re burning them in front And we’re all in, And we’re all in, And we’re all in, Administration, investigation We don’t know what to believe Integration, communication And now we’re going to leave And we all disagree that we all disagree That everyone agrees that everyone agrees That there’s no doubt And it’s all in sixties stereo (Activism) Sixties stereo (Pacifism) Sixties stereo (Have a schism) Now! Sixties stereo (Yoko Ono) Sixties stereo (Sonny Bono) Sixties stereo (Back to mono) Now! intro: G11, C, E7, F, G7 C, F, E7 verse: A, F#m, Bm, E7 A, F#m, Bm, E7… A, D, A pre-ch: Dm, G11, Dm, G11, G7 ch: C, E7, F, G7 middle: Cm, Gm, Cm, Gm, G11, G7
2.
Desperate Situations 03:19
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Desperate situations call for panic, I suppose That’s why we’re all running round and round I’m reading features all about the Emperor’s new clothes Waiting for the taxi into town Deportees are waiting in the holding shed 767 standing by ATC are watching green lights turn to red We’re asking ‘how?’ and ‘where?’ but never ‘why?’ The kids are queuing up behind police tape With folded arms, the bouncer nods them through He stands like a statue but he’s longing to escape What else can a big man do? Drink up now or we might end up sober Wake me when the madness is over Or never, whichever one is sooner Neighbour’s got a chainsaw and he’s chopping down trees We’re looking at the rain and the tide With any luck the neighbour might get washed into the sea A tragedy but serve the bastard right In the middle of the night when they come knocking on my door I’ll surrender and they’ll take me away It’s only fair to take the blame, it’s what we voted for It’s a shame but someone has to pay In corrugated iron barns, all painted Lincoln green In converted Little Chefs and petrol stations In bypassed towns all boarded up, there’s no one to be seen Fuck it, it’s a desperate situation
3.
I've Got Myself Covered 02:34
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Written and recorded onto my phone the day after the December 2019 election. Things seemed to be quite bad then. Bless. lyrics I didn’t sweat for what I’ve got, I’m just lucky And you know that makes me better than you It’s all down to blood and education I’d change it, but there’s nothing I can do Because I’ve got a home and a family And a semi-automatic four-by-four I live by a fence that keeps the world out I’ve got a spyhole and a deadbolt in my door When the time comes I’ll be ready I’ve got something to take for the pain I’ve got nothing to offer But the likes of me don’t suffer I’ve got myself covered once again I’ve got the papers laid out before me That express my way of thinking to a tee The world outside is nothing but a jungle It’s a race to the top of the tree Don’t cry for the losers, it just makes it worse For them, for you and for me It’s a sifting of the sand It’s evolution’s hand It’s a shame but it’s the price of being free I’d like to think that this is just pretending A joke to keep from going around the bend Read it back to yourself and then hit “send” Light a cigarette and wait for the end I look down on the people who made me I’m grateful for everything they’ve done You can’t put a value on history Any more than you can block out the sun I’ve drunk all I’ve got, the bottle’s empty And I can’t find another anywhere I can’t face all of this when I’m sober And I don’t want you thinking I don’t care I’ll get myself up tomorrow morning And I’ll take something for the pain One day we’ll all be done So I’m praying for Kingdom Come I’ve got myself covered once again.
4.
The Last Temptation Of Wanda Jackson 02:14
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5.
For The Landlord 02:56
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Let’s hear it for the landlord who takes your empty cup Let’s hear it for the landlord who fills it straight back up To the top or to the line With a head or not, that’s fine But let’s hear it for the landlord, before the landlord calls time It’s been a long day and you’ve nothing to say Your forehead’s in the palm of your hand There’s a pound of Bombay mix in an ashtray Tasting of salt and sand A skinny little runt pushes up to the front And orders a pint of Camd- -en Hells. Well, it serves him right When you steal his pint Then you go and listen to the band Johnny MacVey always wanted to play Poker with the men in suits Bareknuckle crack, room out the back A house of ill-repute Nervous hush, a royal flush Champagne and a brown cheroot Now he’s laying on the bed with an Embassy red In a pair of Italian boots Let’s hear it for the landlord… June and Brian ran the Golden Lion With the finest selection of beers Hand-painted sign and chairs of pine And golfing souvenirs McIlroy’s cap and Faldo’s slacks It bored poor June to tears So she finished off Brian with a no.9 iron And they gave her eighteen years Well the likes of Len won’t be seen again And he certainly won’t be heard Because the band are playing, eardrums fraying Volume is the word Rafters creaking, everyone’s shrieking Time for the Surfin’ Bird Part time punks and small town drunks Theatre of the absurd Let’s hear it for the landlord
6.
The Seventh Daughter 02:43
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The seventh daughter of a seventh son You put that all together, rolled into one Don’t you think you’d get Some kind of witch, Some kind of mystic Necromancing Stevie Nicks? Take the night off and drink this wine He says this to her for the seventh time She turns away But drinks it anyway Another sticky end to Another boring day Spit on palms and read the leaves She doesn’t care what I believe She can see what I can’t see So she says - doesn’t matter to me The seventh hour of the seventh day She’s in the shower as the radio plays The DJ screams “Stay out of my dreams!” She clicks her fingers And says: “It’s not all as it seems”
7.
Kev's Song (Tom Got There First) 02:55
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I think you need a shave, man, I’m thinking, as I wave Nods in return, halfway through a verse, A coin’s too little, a note’s too much I’ve heard this one before It’s The Last Day On Earth. Do you know him, Dad? Yeah I used to sing with him Can’t stop now, I don’t want to get too close Been meaning to ask For a copy of the words Now I need them even more But Tom got there first Al plays so loud That you can’t hear the words Might as well be singing The Last Day On Earth But Tom got there first There’s a crowd in tonight And they’re giving him lip He gives it right back, it just makes them worse He’s got the cowboy hat And the bootlace tie He’s got Stay Gold And he’s got The Last Day On Earth Now I ought to say something Although I hardly knew him I should sing a song, it’s the least he deserves Downstairs at Rosie’s Guitars and cigarettes Just to get in the mood But Tom’s got there first Al plays so loud… Intro run: Bm, F#+, A6, C#11 Verse: F#, Ebm, [intro run] / F#, Ebm, Bm7, F#+, C#11, F# Chorus: C#, F# x3
8.
How Many Angels? 03:53
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How many angels are dancing on the head of a pin? Between reason and passion, which one would win? If nobody sees, does a tree fall in the woods? If I want to kiss you, does it mean that I should? If I think that I am, does it mean that I am? Whatever will be will be, or is there a plan? Can anyone understand and know the truth? You know me by now - can I get to know you? I’ve got more questions than the beach has grains of sand And they say the answers are here in my hand They know what they’re talking about and I’m sure they’re right But it’s thinking about you that keeps me awake at night If truth is beauty, look at that sun go down And look at you in the sunset, just walking around We’re all spinning around at a thousand miles an hour The angels on the head of the pin, they know the score Just for a second, let me theorise That more than anything, I want to look into your eyes Is this more complicated than it needs to be? Are you thinking any of this, or is it just me? I’ve got more questions than the beach has grains of sand And they say the answers are here in my hand They know what they’re talking about and I’m sure they’re right But it’s thinking about you that keeps me awake at night
9.
Finish The Job (Cleethorpes 1974) 03:51
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Across the new estate, I can go anywhere Climb the garden gate, I need to show off my new long hair Grown like a willow, tied up in a school tie Like a tennis player or an Indian It was better before they dug in the trees Better when you could feel the breeze from the sea Better when the beck was flowing high after the rain Better before the diggers came To finish the job, please don’t finish the job I like it the way it is Over the wall into the delivery yard Line up beneath the lights, trying to look hard Pick sides for the fight, hoping you’re not the last ‘Cause I don’t think I can run that fast The bridge sounds like tin cans at the cricket Alone at night, I can still hear it Donkeys waking up in the field behind the hotel It’s four AM and the diggers have come To finish the job, please don’t finish the job I like it the way it is When the wasteland’s gone there’ll be nowhere to go Nowhere to think, nowhere for the beck to flow they’ll cover it up, turn it into a drain What about the sticklebacks? The rattling bridge left over from the war Doesn’t move when you drive over it any more The dunes don’t crumble underneath the road It’s just a path and they’ve let it go When you leave it all starts to make sense It was always just a work in progress This never was going to be the last road in town It just happened to be, when I was around And the donkey field is a car park now Except it’s not because the cinema’s shut down And the bowling alley and the new café Brambles are growing through the tarmac To finish the job…
10.
Last Train To Shitsville 02:33
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Last train to Shitsville There’s nobody at the station But we’re all glad to see you leaving town Last train to Shitsville If you had a reputation No one gives a shit about it now Last train to Shitsville There’s no ticket inspector All of this is down to Casey Jones One the train to Shitsville We all know that it’s safer To drive into Shitsville alone Last train to Shitsville You can only do your best We’ve put you to the test and you failed Last train to Shitsville We’ll be on the train Going to chain you up and tie you to the rails Blow, whistle blow You’ve only just arrived Now it’s time to go Last train to Shitsville Got a ticket for economy Time to rest your poor aching feet Last train to Shitsville It’s standing room only You sold off all the tables and the seats Last train to Shitsville There’s nobody at the station We’re all in isolation or in bed Welcome to Shitsville It’s the perfect situation Everyone in Shitsville’s fucking dead

about

Written during the early days of 2020, when I still imagined singing these songs in a pub. For future listeners, pubs were buildings in which people sat less than two metres apart, drinking heavily and talking drivel, like WhatsApp with mouths instead of thumbs.

Recorded at home in April 2020. All acoustic. Electric guitar, bass and bongos unavailable due to self-isolation (long story).

If you're desperate to pay, please give a donation to the Crisis Emergency fund, here: www.crisis.org.uk Thanks x

credits

released April 14, 2020

Mr J Horne - male vocal with guitar acc.
All songs © JH 2020
Photo © Hannah Horne (somewhere in England, 2020)

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Horne's Demo Shop Edinburgh, UK

Under the counter at Horne's Gift Shop: recent songwriting demos and an archive of my time playing in other people's bands. Thanks to all those concerned.

Dig here for deep cuts.

Proper releases are at jonhorne.bandcamp.com ... more

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